My Thai Adventure…

04.04.17

When Ad was turning 30, and we were foot loose and fancy free we had the pleasure of visiting Thailand. This was before I was Mrs A, and definitely before India. For those who have been will understand the countries charms, the people, culture and beaches are something to be remembered.

Off we departed from London Heathrow in March 2013, a rucksack on my back as big as my body and a smile like the Cheshire Cat. For we were about to embark on 3 weeks of travelling around Thailand. Our first stop would be Bangkok, followed by Koh Samui, Koh Phanghan and finally Koh Phi Phi…

Bangkok

It’s safe to say I’m glad I’ve been, but would be very happy not to return. Khaosan Road lived up to expectations of wild street food venders, insects on every corner and enough fake gear to re-sink the Titanic. It would be here I would get my first taste of ‘street food’ which quite frankly gave me the shits the next day. We did party like it was 1999, I can confirm the vodka is 100% paint stripper.

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Visiting the Golden Palace with a hangover, the shits and being forced to wear a shirt because my arms were exposed was not the one. Mainly because the shirt was still damp with someone else’s BO, but best of all I had to queue for the pleasure of wearing it.

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Rougher than old boots

If your visiting Bangkok I highly recommend visiting Cabbages & Condoms restaurant, it really is something dining under the fairy light canopy. Their slogan “our food is guaranteed to not course pregnancy” should be celebrated itself.

We were fortunate to stay in hotel Lebua where the movie Hangover II was filmed. The rooftop bar really is something else, if you can brave it down you must. I literally wanted to crawl on my hands and knees. I thought I was going to get blown off the bloody edge. Just an FYI you may need to take out a small mortgage to pay for 1 drink.

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Fancy place to get blown off

Koh Samui

After 3 nights in congested Bangkok we were desperate for the beach, a pool, some sun. Arriving in Koh Samui on what we describe as a ‘near miss’ flight (I swear to god we almost died on a few occasions no joke) having our feet in the sand was welcome.

Whilst we were in Samui I picked up some more fake Raybans and Havianas (can never have to many) some more bracelets to feel like we were “real travellers” and did a load of laughing gas balloons. We ate the nicest meat banquet we’ve ever had (meat sweats and humidity do not bode well) and partied on the islands version of Magaluf.

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Before our time on this island was up we thought we better do the touristy shit and book a jeep tour.We wanted the pictures more than anything so half a day we book visiting the islands key landmarks.

I’m not joking we got stuck on a jeep with Russia’s version of the Adams family, us pair and them. We spent a good few hours rubbing sweaty shoulders and banging thighs.

Our 3 hour adventure turns in to 4, then 5, clearly no one else had booked the smaller tour so they just packed us off on the full one anyway. After visiting a rock that looked like a cock, a mummified monk, some statues, elephants and a waterfall (plus having lunch with our new Russian mates) we had to request they take us home. We were desperate for a Chang beer and a dip. I’ve never been so grateful to be sat in a pool in my life.

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Third wheeling at the family dinner ..still not sure who was the wife and who the girlfriend…

Koh Phangan

We stayed at the nicest little cove north of the island. We had our own bungalow, a swing on the beach and a sunbathing terrace that looked out to sea. It really was something else. Even if a lizard did live with us most of the time.

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The day of the full moon party and we were both absolutely hammered, infact I don’t even remember getting there.Β Arriving at the beach to a sea of buckets, bars, music, glow paint and a lot of happy people on mushrooms. I was literally loving life (deffo not on the shrooms) and within 1 hour my purse had been robbed, we had no money left. What an utter piss take. How many other days do you go to the biggest beach party in the world? Β Luckily they didn’t take my camera or return tickets home or we would of been up shit creek without a paddle. Trying to ring HSBC bank from a hut at the full moon party was an experience I will never forget, along with crying on some randoms shoulder in a jeep on the way home.

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Koh Phi Phi

I loved this island the most, it had the most amazing laid back vibe. We did our longest stretch of 7 nights here and had many nights out dancing on the beach partying at Slinkys. Watching crazy people jumping over fire ropes, drinking the cheapest bottles of beer on the street. Climbing up in to what looked like a treehouse bar and playing board games. We had the best steak at Unnis, bought more bracelets for the collection and took a day trip over to Maya bay where they filmed the Beach. The fact Leo Dicaprio had walked his fine ass all over the sand made it even more appealing.

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By now we fit right in being bare foot warriors or in flip flops 24/7, shorts and vest customary and not even bothering with make-up as it slid off your face within a nano-second. It was hard to say goodbye, especially to those who we met who still had months left.

Nothing that dancing round a huge cock can’t fix..

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I am forever grateful that we were lucky enough to take this trip, I hold so many amazing memories from this place! We live in one small corner of the world, we need to make sure we see as much of the rest as we can … X

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