Food Crimes


Saturday was an interesting day, with some certain highs and lows. For example eating toast in bed was a high, until I realised I was also allowing 2 children to share this joy with me, queue the low. Chocolate spread on my white quilt plus 10,000 crums I was still finding on my skin in the middle of the night. It was like trying to sleep on a beach.

Next high, getting a McDonald’s, love a Saturday McDonalds. Low.. being so foolish as to eat said McDonalds in the car with 2 children. We sat outside the restaurant in the car, looking at it thinking “what have we done”

It started when we couldn’t decide where to eat, shall we take it home? Eat in? Eat in the car? We disagreed of course.

Next, being McDonalds they forgot to put the sauce in the bag, the kids don’t want to eat it without bloody sauce and they will chew my ear off until they get it, all I can hear is “dip, dip, dip” I march in to the restaurant and fill up those shitty paper cups with sauce and back I march to the car looking at all the happy organised family’s inside. For some reason I fill 5 pots up to the top, why I just don’t know but I will come to regret this.

Adams face is already a picture of stress and dissaproval the moment I get back in the car, tensions were high. What happened in the next few minutes I can only describe as tears, arguments and a sea of sauce dramas. I gave her a pot of sauce and she decided to snog it. SomehowΒ I came out the worst and I’m not sure how.


NEVER again.

It ended in bold statements “we’re never coming again” and “I want to kill you” (me to Adam not any of the kids) “we’re going home!!!” Was also thrown in for good measure. Poor Lewis must of sat there thinking what the hell.


See culprit with very sorry face

We managed to recover our day, thankfully going to play at a friends house and then again in our garden. For once she actually bloody went to bed without crying.

I have decided kids ruin food experiences, in one way or another. Either they don’t want to eat it, want to eat yours, cry through it, throw it, or make so much mess you need to hire a cleaning company in to sterilise the house. They ruin furniture with sticky hands and brand new clothes with orange stains you can never bastard wash out.

I wish I could say I’ve learnt my lesson but I know full well it wasn’t the first and it won’t be the last.

On that note, have a very happy bank Holiday everyone… X

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